[quote name='TSA wrote:
I am an Edmonton Oiler fan. You caused us a lot of pain a few years ago! I remember sitting drunk, in an embrace with my brother in front of our local pub in tears after you won game 7. That is a position no man should ever be in.
Please don't hurt us again! You guys need to start winning. In the spirit of fairness, give us last place. We did give you Pitkanen back - we're sorry, we shouldn't of taken him in the first place. And you have Cole back too! I'll promise to do what I can to make sure that the Blue Jays never win a World Series again...I know some guys. (Baseball is your national sport, right?)
In fact, you guys wouldn't want Taylor Hall anyway. Everyone in Canada knows everyone, you guys have heard that, right? Well, I have some inside information on Taylor Hall for you that might make you rethink your 'Fall for Hall': He seems like a nice, normal Canadian boy on the outside, but he suffers from a debilitating disease - as do many Canadians - that keep us confined north of the 49th parallel; it's called 'Reverse-Reynauds'. (You guys didn't think we lived up here for fun, did you?)
What happens with Reverse-Reynauds is when a person is subjected to a warm climate for a prolonged period, the blood vessels in the hands and feet become distended and take on a scarlet red, puffy appearance and basically compress the nerves of the affected appendages creating what can best be described as hands-of-stone, and pylon-like skating and playmaking ability.
So due to Hall's Reverse-Reynauds, I don't think he would be a very good fit for your hockey team. Plus, he has that drug habit, and he is schizophrenic (mild case, easily controlled), and he steals. But the Edmonton Oilers are willing to do you a favour and take him off your hands for you despite all his character flaws.
Why? Because at least he will be able to play hockey here. Our climate does not promote the progression of Reverse-Reynauds, in fact, I don't know if you heard or not, but about a month ago, Edmonton was the coldest spot on the planet at -46 Celsius and -58.4 Celsius with the wind-chill (sorry, I don't know what that converts to in American, but trust me, it's cold).
All you need to do is win a few games, and it won't take many! The Oilers will keep up our end of the bargain - a pathetic downward spiral that no sports fan should ever have to endure. I'm so sure of it at this point, I am willing to speak for the entire Oiler's organization: we will continue to lose hockey games. So please Carolina, listen to reason and win some games. In Edmonton, we've tried everything short of sacrificing virgins to the hockey gods - and that gets messy. So please don't make us resort to such drastic measures.
A Distressed Oiler Fan
Welcome aboard, you too Keith if is hasn't already been said. I have to hand it to you Oiler fans, you guys are good sports and a pleasure to have around here. All of the Edmonton fans I met during the SCF's in 06 were great and a ton of fun to get to know. Some of my best memories from that series were from tailgating out in our parking lots with the visiting Edmonton fans. There was plenty of good natured trash talk and both fan bases got along great but none of the problems we had with a previous series.
A couple of years back I was lucky enough to get to the All Star game in Atlanta and once again, it was the Edmonton fans in the sports bars that were the most friendly and easiest to get to know. Although I was told countless times over the weekend that we stole your Cup
Its been a disappointing season for both our teams but at least we're able to keep thing light and find some humor in all this. Here's to a better season next year for both the Canes and the Oilers, I wouldn't mind another playoff series with the Edmonton fans.
That said, the official "Fall for Hall" is on......
Lol, damn, I thought I would of scared you away from him! And thank you for the welcome to the board.
I'm glad we Edmontonians have some good diplomats out there...you cup theives! I hope we both do have a better season to look forward to next year. I guess it couldn't get much worse. Here's to another Canes/Oil final next year! I want a re-match.