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Two Sabres fans walked into a bar. The Canes fan ducked.

(you'll get it in about 10 seconds, unless you're a Sabres fan)

LOL That was terrible! :lol:

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A Sabres fan, a 'Canes fan, and a Flyers fan meet up in a bar to watch the playoffs. The Sabres fan starts complaining about the Sabres being robbed of their Stanley Cup. The Flyers fan looks at the 'Canes fan, the 'Canes fan looks at the Flyers fan, and the 'Canes fan shrugs. The Flyers fan picks up his beer, and just as he lifts it to drink it, he mutters: "Yeah, I don't know what he's rambling about either."

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After yet another early exit in the playoffs, following a promising regular season, a delusional Sabres fan went to the HSBC Arena.

“May I help you sir?†The security guard asked the fan.

“I’m here to see the Stanley Cup.†The fan said proudly.

“Sir,†The guard said. “The Sabres didn’t win the Cup this year. They didn’t even make it to the finals.â€

“No. I saw it.†The fan said firmly. “I was there when Briere hoisted the Cup. It was the most wonderful day of my life. After years of disappointment, the city of Buffalo finally has a championship. Who would have guessed that I would be there to see it.â€

“Sir. I’m sorry. There is no Cup.†The guard sensing the man was unstable started closing the arena door.

“But, I was here when they won it. Oh, I know.†The fan said, wearing his slugtastic jersey. “You can’t let me see it until the parade. I understand. Maybe just a peek?â€

The security guard began to feel sorry for the fan. He pushed the door open slightly. “Sir. I hate to tell you this, but there’s no Cup. I think you need to go home and wait until next year. Maybe we’ll have better luck then.â€

“Luck?†the fan asked incredulously. “We don’t need any stinkin’ luck. We just won the Stanley Cup and I’d just like to see up close what I’ve been waiting my whole life for.

“Ok, Sir.†The guard began. Let me ask you something. How do you spell ‘The’ with a ‘T’?

“T-H-E†The fan spelled proudly.

“That’s right.†The guard affirmed. “Now, how do you spell ‘Stanley’ with an ‘S’?†The guard asked.

“S-T-A-N-L-E-Y†The fan answered slowly and deliberately.

â€Excellent!†The guard said. “Ok, can you spell ’Cup’ with an ‘F’?

The Sabres fan thought about it for a moment and replied “But, there’s no ‘F’ in ’CUP’!â€

“Yes, sir.†The guard explained. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for the past 5 minutes. Now, go home and sober up.â€

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Oh...I'm sorry....to hear that you are a Buffaloe fan. :lol:

holy crap you spelled it wrong again

Oh No....you just gotta come sniffing around Canes world cause you are jealous.

:Oops: Sorry people I know that was a little childish, but we have to deal with them at the RBC center and here?!? Cut us a break :mrgreen:

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OK, ok, I've got one:

Three boys are walking over a bridge when they hear a call for help below. They quickly throw a rope over. The person struggling in the water grabs hold of it and they boys pull him to safety. Turns out, it's Daniel Briere. He says to them, "I was getting ready to practice my diving when I forgot I couldn't swim. Thanks for helping me. In return for this, I'll give each of you whatever you want." The three boys look at one another, nod, and push him back off the side of the bridge.

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A sabres fan, a leafs fan, a habs fan, and a canes fan are hiking up a mountain. At the summit, they start discussing which team has the best fans in the league. The four fans start arguing furiously, all claiming that their city had the best fans. To prove that the leafs had the best fans in the league, the leafs fan jumps off the cliff, yelling "THIS IS FOR LEAF FANS EVERYWHERE!!!". He dies. Not wanting to be outdone by the leafs fan, the habs fan jumps off the cliff yelling "THIS IS FOR HABS FANS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!". He dies as well. Not wanting to be outdone by the habs or leafs fans, the Canes fan throws the sabres fan over the cliff and yells "THIS IS FOR ALL HOCKEY FANS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!"

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Found this one (Thought it was appropriate...just as long as we win tonight!)

Montreal Canadiens Joke

In court the other day there was a case regarding the custody of a small child.

The judge asked the boy, "do you want to live with your mother?"

He replied, "No I don't want to live with her because she beats me!".

The judge then asked, "Do you want to live with your father?"

The boy stated, "No he beats me too."

Finally the judge asked, "where do you want to live?"

The child responded, "I want to live with the Montreal Canadiens!".

The judge asked, "Why do you want to live with the Montreal Canadiens?"

The boy exclaimed, "Because the Montreal Canadiens don't beat anybody!"

Enjoy.

the mrs.

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A sabres fan, a leafs fan, a habs fan, and a canes fan are hiking up a mountain. At the summit, they start discussing which team has the best fans in the league. The four fans start arguing furiously, all claiming that their city had the best fans. To prove that the leafs had the best fans in the league, the leafs fan jumps off the cliff, yelling "THIS IS FOR LEAF FANS EVERYWHERE!!!". He dies. Not wanting to be outdone by the leafs fan, the habs fan jumps off the cliff yelling "THIS IS FOR HABS FANS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!". He dies as well. Not wanting to be outdone by the habs or leafs fans, the Canes fan throws the sabres fan over the cliff and yells "THIS IS FOR ALL HOCKEY FANS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!"

OMG this is freakin great!!!!!!!! I gotta share this one with my family!! They'll love it.

Sorry Sabres1970...you are the coolest sabres fan I know (still can't believe I am saying that :D) but this is FUNNY!

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A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool, he

noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked "Sir, what will you have?"

The man thought a moment, then replied, "A martini, please".

The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had.

The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"

The man answered, "Oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the theory of relativity, inter-steller space travel, the latest medical breakthroughs, etc.......

The man was most impressed. He left the bar, but thought he would try a

different tactic. He returned and took a seat.

Again, the robot clicked and asked what he would have.

"A jack and coke, please." Again it was superb.

The robot again asked, "What is your IQ, sir?"

This time the man answered, "Oh, about 100".

So the robot started discussing NASCAR racing, bass fishing and what the Panthers need to do for next season.

The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a

stool.... This time a draft beer, and the question,"What is your IQ?"

This time the man drawled out "Uh.....'bout 50."

The robot clicked, then leaned close and very slowly asked, "How about them Sabres?"

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So a man is walking down the street one day in Western NY and comes upon a Rottweiler that was attacking two little children on a playgroud. THinking quickly the man grabs a large stick and runs to the aid of the children and without regard to his own safety beats the dog to death saving the children. He was bitten several times and bloodied and When the police arrive they commend the man and want him to talk to the local newspaper about what happened.

The newpaper guy says to the man " That was such an amazing feat of bravery and perserverance to stand up to the terrible animal that you must be a Sabres fan."The man replies "No.. Actually I am not a Sabres fan"

"Well" says the Newspaper guy, "exibiting such Class and compassion for others so much younger and inexperienced than yourself must make you a Montreal Canadiens Fan"

"No" replies the man... "I am actually from Raleigh NC and I love the Carolina Hurricanes with all my heart". The news guy says OK and briskly walks away...

The headlines in the local paper the next day...

"Southern Redneck brutally murders defenseless family pet"

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A Canadiesn fan, a Sabres fan, a Red Wings fan, and a Caniac are climbing a mountain.

The Red Wings fan says,"I'm the most devoted fan!", and jumps off the mountain.

The Canadians fan says,"I'm the most devoted fan!", and jumps off the mountain.

The Caniac says,"I'm the most devoted fan!", and pushes the Sabres fan off the mountain.

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whoops...didn't realize that was the same(almost)

Heres another one

Three hockey fans walk into a bar. The bartender asks,"Did you ever here about the Sabres and the Cup?"

The 3 fans just stare at him and he replies "Didn't think so."

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Rewritten by puckin_A on LGC:

We Carolina Hurricane fans amuse ourselves

by scaring every Buffalo fan we see strutting

down the street with that obnoxious buffalo

on their coats. We would swerve our

cars as if to hit them, and then swerve back

just missing them.

One day, while driving along, I saw a priest walking.

I thought I would do a good deed, so I pulled over

and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about

two miles down the road," replied the priest.

"Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"

The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat,

and we continued down the road. Suddenly, I saw

a Buffalo fan with his "buffaslug" coat, walking down the road.

I instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual,

I swerved back into the road just in time. Even though

I was certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard

a loud "THUD."

Not understanding where the noise came from, I

glanced in my mirrors, but didn't see anything. I

then remembered the priest, and turned to the

priest and said, "Sorry, Father, I almost hit that

Buffalo fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."

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That is hysterical !!! I am really getting a kick out of that one! hee hee

(having grown up where priest and nun jokes rule... I'm sure I can turn that one around to fit on a Notre Dame forum next season, easy! haha)

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It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.

"No," says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible", said the man.

"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs and not use it?"

The neighbor says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head "No. They're all at the funeral."

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The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)

• New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.

• Canadians plant gardens.

40° Fahrenheit (4.4° C)

• Californians shiver uncontrollably.

• Canadians Sunbathe.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)

• Italian Cars won't start

• Canadians drive with the windows down

32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C)

• Distilled water freezes

• Canadian water get thicker.

0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)

• New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.

• Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-40° Fahrenheit (-40° C)

• Hollywood disintegrates.

• Canadians rent some videos.

-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)

• Mt. St. Helens freezes.

• Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)

• Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

• Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)

• Ethyl alcohol Freezes.

• Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)

• Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.

• Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)

• Hell freezes over.

• The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

Haha. I can't claim this as my own..I have to give the props to my father. ;)

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Why is the Hockey Hall Of Fame in Toronto?

It's the only way Leafs fans can get to see the Stanley Cup!

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

They both look good until they hit the ice!

Okay, I'm officially done. :)

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