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coastal_caniac

Opening Night - Canes vs Islanders - October 4th, 7 pm

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Opening Night, Thursday October 4th, at 7pm

TV:  Fox Sports South

Radio:  99.9 FM the Fan (TV simulcast)

 

Pregame Brought to You By Our Sponsors:

Hargraves Potted Meat Product (Since 1937), Mitch's Magic Beans LLC, and Beer

 

Live From the Hockey Shack We Proudly Present

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Canes Cold Ones

with
Hag and The Big Guy
Season Kickoff Forum Round Table Edition

 

<STAGE> The lights come up on the normal couch but from the wide view we can see 3 additional recliners have been added around a huge circular table.  On the table are all the essentials:  Wings, nachos, duck poppers, ribs and the like.  Song 5 by Blur is blaring "Woohoo" and we hear a Yabba Dabba Doo in there too. Hag and The Big Guy are on the couch and 3 others of dubious origin occupy the recliners.

 

HAG: Welcome to the 2018 Pregame Kickoff of the Hurricanes' season.  With me as always is The Big Guy.

 

BIG GUY:  Beer me.  

 

HAG: <reaches into cooler at his feet, digs out a "Devil's Tramping Ground" from the Aviator in Fuquay-Varina, tosses it over>

 

BIG GUY: Nice choice.  9.2%.

 

HAG: You're welcome.  Well, there is a first time for everything, we have never been asked to kick off the season before, but here we are.  For this special occasion we have invited an expert panel of Canes fans to share their thoughts on the upcoming season.  So without further ado...

 

BIG GUY: <snickering> He said doo.

 

 

HAG: ...I would like to introduce our panel.  Let's welcome Coastal Caniac, Legend, and Super Dave.

 

ALL 3:  <Coastal, Legend and Super Dave all raise their cans of beer and simultaneously pop the tops, and commence to take a deep swig>

 

SUPER DAVE:  I protest the use of canned beer, I prefer bottles. I only did that for the effect. Can beer must have been cheaper, and provided by El Cheapo Dundon.  Coastal, what are you doing drinking beer?  I thought you were one of them brown liquor kind of guys.

 

COASTAL:  I was being nice, I hate beer <throws beer out the door while simultaneously opening a fifth of Jack>, and besides it's not my hockey shack.   

 

HAG:  So here we are.  The season is about to commence.  A lot of changes have happened.  Most of these have been hashed out already.  I'm not going to talk about the new owner, the GM choice.  I am going to start by talking about what gets me jazzed about this season.  Take a look at this picture:

 

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HAG:  All of us were around then, we remember 2006.  We remember when this man put the team on his back and carried them to victory.  We remember Game 7 of the Buffalo series.  I want you to look at that picture and ask if you ever personally were driven to that level in your life.  I bet the answer for most people is no.  I bet the answer for 99.9% of the public is no.  That look embodies determination and a strength of will I have never seen matched.  I have no idea how good a coach Roddy will be, but I can guaran-damn-tee you that if he fails, it won't be because he doesn't work hard enough, or doesn't want it bad enough.  If I want someone leading my organization, I want the guy to be the guy who made that face, because that face says all that needs to be said about drive and determination.

 

BIG GUY: He's the best.

 

 

HAG: So let's hear from some of the panel...  I happen to think that the trade for Dougie Hamilton was a brilliant move, we may be seeing the best Carolina DMan in over a decade.  Coastal, you have an affinity for assessing the Dmen, what are your thoughts on the D corp?

 

COASTAL: As long as I don’t have to talk about plus-minus <neck veins begin to swell> I don’t mind giving my $.02.

 

BIG GUY:  Worst stat in history <winks at Super Dave>

 

SUPER DAVE:  Don’t get him started Big Guy.

 

COASTAL:  I am pumped with this defense, and we have goo gobs of depth behind those guys.  We added what we wanted Hanifin to become and Hamilton can also bring a physical style.  Don't look now but the Canes actually have a first pairing that is going to be dangerous. I was particularly pleased with the Calvin De Haan signing.  Not that big of an offensive threat but he does everything so consistently well.  Without opening up the obvious can of worms I think Faulk can get back to where he was before the bottom kind of fell out for him.  It is possible <grimacing> 

 

LEGEND:  They've looked a little shaky so far or am I imagining things?

 

COASTAL: Yep, spot on.  They’ve been a little loose in preseason but Rod’s aggressive style of play may take a while to mesh on the back end.  What interests me most is how the bottom pairing will shake out.  Who sits?  Right now I’d say Fleury but that forces TVR to his offside.  Great problem to have though.  I am a little miffed why they haven't tried Pesce up in Faulk's spot on the second pairing.  But it's early and I guess we will see how it shakes out.  Hey, Pesce has shown some offense in the preseason with some nifty stick handling and that's great to see develop.

 

HAG: It’s weird seeing Hamilton and Faulk together on the first powerplay unit 

 

COASTAL:  Damn skippy look, huh?  I really like Faulk over on the left point.  We haven’t seen the one-time bombs yet but it will be nice when Dougie and Faulk start breaking legs with those shots.  Oh yeah baby.

 

 

HAG: Let's try something here.  The Big Guy has played some beer league sumo goalie in his day.  I know Legend has played some goal too, so why don't we have these 2 knock around our goaltending situation for a bit.

 

LEGEND: We're going to need the cheddar this year from the goalies.

 

BIG GUY: There's a lot of things they can do but I'm not sure that helps us.

 

LEGEND: I would always get sent onto the rink when I was younger with a friend telling me to be the Cheddar not the Swiss. 

 

BIG GUY: Clearly he was a motivational speaker.

 

LEGEND: It's tough being the cheddar for the team, I've got a few key points to how they're going to obtain that.  1st is picking the right pregame music, once they've found their play list it's absolutely key they stick to that throughout the season.

 

BIG GUY: what the?

 

LEGEND: 2nd they've each gotten a win in preseason it's absolutely necessary they continue the exact same pregame routine they did before the win. If the games early in the day they need to condense it and do it faster.

 

BIG GUY: I haven't had enough magic beans for this...

 

LEGEND: 3rd and most important you have to tap the posts before the puck drop exactly the same every game. If they change this up we could be in for a rough year.

 

BIG GUY: Who is this guy?

 

LEGEND: But seriously we need the cheddar early, Canes can't afford to be 10 games in wondering who the starter is. We've seen it the past 2 seasons and it just didn't seem helpful. It's only helpful if both goalies are hitting at full throttle and I'm not necessarily sure we'll get them both hot at the same time but I would certainly settle for being hot when the other's cold. 

 

BIG GUY: Other than your cheesy commentary, do you have any thoughts on who is going to be the man?

 

LEGEND: We've got our Rocky Balboa in Scott Darling, we all know how those movies went, Rocky always came back the following year in better shape and beat the snot out of the next guy. I really don't know much about Mrazek, I hear he's hit or miss and ya know what....I can deal with someone who shows up 50% of the time because we're used to watching the puck go in almost all the time.

 

BIG GUY:  So be the Rocky, not the Apollo.  Be the Cheddar, not the Swiss.  Come out good half the time.  Got it.  I need another beer. 

 

LEGEND: I do think some of the goalies woes have been defense related, shots were down but down low dangerous plays I always felt stayed about the same. Defense and the goaltending need to work together better this year to make each other look good.

 

BIG GUY: All I know is it will be hard to be worse than last season, so I'm going with better.

 

COASTAL:  <Breaking>……hey, did y’all see this.  What a kick in the cods.  Darling out for a couple of weeks.  We just picked up McElhinney off waivers.

 

SUPER DAVE:  At least Darling didn’t saw off his fingers making da Sweeeedish Meatballs.  Tough break.

 

LEGEND:  McElhinney was a no-brainer.  Ronnie would have sat on his hands. 

 

BIG GUY:  How do ya drink beer like that?


 

HAG: Ok, I think that worked.  It's pretty rare someone can dumbfound The Big Guy because he is the master of dumb.

 

SUPER DAVE:  All this cheese talks got me a hankerin' for some o that potted meat.  Reach down in the crack of that Lazy Boy and see if there's a can shoved down in there somewhere.  Goes good with canned beer.

 

BIG GUY: <double face palm> Dave, not the potted meat again.

 

COASTAL:  It’s not just any ol' potted meat.  That’s Hargraves Potted Meat Product, chock full of peckers and lips since 1937.  Besides, who else is going to sponsor this bunch?

 

SUPER DAVE: Relax, Big Guy.  Just getting one in for old times sake.  I really don't know what to expect from this bunch.  I'm with you fellers on the goaltending thing.  It has to be better than last year.  The D should be among the best in the league.  Scoring, well, who knows?  Hey, Big Guy...

 

BIG GUY:  What?

 

SUPERDAVE:  Wanna see my five hole?

 

BIG GUY:  Dave, you are a five hole all over.

 

SUPER DAVE:  That's just rude.  Hey, speaking of a five hole, I'm just glad we prevented AWACS from doing the opening night game day thread.  Good old Autoloss himself.  I mean, the guy's okay and all that, but how can one guy be that unlucky?  I will give him respect though.  He's a fan, and has a thick skin.  Here's to you, Autoloss (holds el cheapo canned beer up in the air). 

 

EVERYONE: <holding up their beers [or cocktail], loudly toasting, while covering their left ear with their right hand>  TO AUTOLOSS!


 

HAG:  OK, to wrap this up, I think we can go with some predictions for the season.  I'll start.  I predict that in spite of losing Skinner, scoring will be up because our dirty greasy goal count will go up.  The Canes will finish with a positive goal differential for the first time in a decade.  Coastal?

 

COASTAL:  The biggest thing for me is Rod is not expecting every player to “play the Pastor Bill right way”.  No more Bill Peters clones, which I think you could argue was too rigid of a system that killed creativity on offense.   No more of that crap.  Rod attacks with three forwards, all the time.  I think we have the D to do that but it’s risky, and puts A LOT of faith that the guy between the pipes can make a save when we need it.  Damn, it’s sure fun to watch though.  

 

I think we are going to surprise some folks.  I'll go out on a limb and say The Foege will be our most impactful rookie 5 vs 5, and Zykov will be that guy on the PP - the immovable object in front of the net. 

 

I really think it's going to take half a season before Svech and Necas get comfortable playing with the Big Boys. Let them work their magic beans on the PP while they settle in.

And can Aho really play center?  If not what the heck does Roddy do with the lines?

 

Just can't go the Debbie Downer route.  That's just not being a fan. Playoffs baby.

 

HAG: Legend?

 

LEGEND: I predict there is absolutely nothing this team can do that's worse then the Flyers new mascot.

 

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BIG GUY: hmmm... if Andy Dalton had a kid with.... Andy Dalton...   

 

HAG:  Super Dave?

 

SUPER DAVE:  Mrazek becomes a league average starter.  Darling becomes a league average backup.  If not we got the new guy that just put up a .934 last year.  That will be enough to squeak the Canes into the playoffs.

 

HAG: Big Guy?

 

BIG GUY: As Mr. T said...

 

HAG:  Well, that's it folks... I'm sure some of you want starting lineups, what is going on for the opening game and the like.  What do you want from us, everything?  That's what you guys are for.  Discuss...

<fade to black>

 

 

Edited by coastal_caniac
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Phenomenal GDT starter, magic beans, plus-minus and all . The bar is high.  Thanks to this committee for that great starter.

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I helped make this and didn't even notice the Big Guy's drinking Tramping Ground. My bar's full of Aviator stuff including Tramping Ground's wall tin.

 

Also the only place I've got drunk enough to buy art, with no regrets it's an awesome painting.

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Brilliant, simply brilliant GDT. I'm going full Juju tomorrow. 18 holes of golf followed by copius  amounts of pitchers at the 19th hole. Short drive home to change into the Uni and sample a fresh shipment of magic beans from Seattle. Perhaps Mrs Shot will drive so I can practice waiving the towel and practice taking the shirt off and waiving it like a helicopter. Juju theme is " Can you take me higher"  It's not Rocky and Creed, Just Creed. 

 

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1 hour ago, slapshot02 said:

Brilliant, simply brilliant GDT. I'm going full Juju tomorrow. 18 holes of golf followed by copius  amounts of pitchers at the 19th hole. Short drive home to change into the Uni and sample a fresh shipment of magic beans from Seattle. Perhaps Mrs Shot will drive so I can practice waiving the towel and practice taking the shirt off and waiving it like a helicopter. Juju theme is " Can you take me higher"  It's not Rocky and Creed, Just Creed. 

 

 

From the Erik Cole warmup playlist of 2006...

 

 

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9 minutes ago, surfzone365 said:

Work it out and stick to the plan

 

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Surf, where did you find this??  Several times on this board when leadership was being discussed I've mentioned the time the cameras caught rookie Aho drawing up a play to Jordan Staal on the bench.  This is it.

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2 hours ago, LakeLivin said:

 

Surf, where did you find this??  Several times on this board when leadership was being discussed I've mentioned the time the cameras caught rookie Aho drawing up a play to Jordan Staal on the bench.  This is it.

The good ol interweb 

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