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Obi-Wan

Dear Peter Karmanos, Jim Rutherford, and Peter Laviolette...

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LMAO !!!! It would certainly be a whole new brand of hockey. I think they make movies out of stuff like this! Lord - we'd push 'The Mighty Ducks' off the hockey movie list with our mix of teens, middle ages and AARP'ers clogging the lanes and blocking the net and hanging on to the opposition for dear life...

can you just see one of our new Caniacs trying to stop, latching on to (pick an opposing team)and getting whirled, twirled and dragged across the ice, trailing their stick (if they manage to hang onto it) and slowly dribbling down the front/side of their human post until they're hugging an ankle. ???

The other side would rapidly learn that checking one of our new folks in effect equals a launch: body goes flying off to parts unknown and that might not be in their best interests. They could end up taking out their own players with flying Canes!

I see a problem with some of our folks (not admittedly in the best physical shape) seeking out the SinBin just for some R&R. All that innocent flailing around might start to take on a little deviltry.... :twisted: as they look for a legal break in the action.

On the plus side, LOTS of face time on SportsCenter is guaranteed. Who will believe it without seeing it? maybe the Canes could then end up getting the same sort of sweetheart deal that my beloved Notre Dame has with NBC... some network affiliate decides that with this bunch of players, every game HAS to be televised! We become the hockey version of The Replacements and Major League! (counting ca$h) 8)

That entire post was hysterical, esp. w/ it being followed up w/ what kleen posted!!!

Hey, I can be a goalie... my temper alone would put Terry Sawchuk's to absolute shame. :twisted:

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Oh, man! It would be like that Disney movie, The Big Green, where the local town sheriff and the new female teacher from overseas teaches a ragtag group of kids how to play soccer and only one of them has ever played before. Needless to say, they chase the ball like the Mighty Mites chase the puck. But by the end of the movie they've learned how to play and they win the state championship!

Yep, that would be us except with hockey and like kleen said, we might just win the cup! Although, you'll just have to remind us not to touch any other trophies we win along the way because we'll all be pretty mesmerized by the shiny metal which could get us in a lot of trouble come cup time. That is if we don't have to forfeit from total team injuries due to kissing the ice after being launched in the air over and over again. Maybe we should invest in extra padding. Or we can bargain shop and buy lots of pillows to tape to us. One or the other.

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Dear New Players,

I would like to offer my services as a reff. Its true I can only see out of one eye and the one eye I can see out of is kinda blurry, but I assure you I will be fair.

I should probably tell you that I don't really know all of the hand signals for the calls...but I do know, and am fond of, the "Hooking" call, so expect to see that alot, I might even do it before the puck drops just for craps and giggles.

Although I don't have much experience with the NHL, I did reff two seasons with the NRL...which we all know is the National RockTossing League....my calls got me the MVP spot and I wasnt even on the team!

So as you can see I believe I make calls that make the players like me. And don't worry...if you guys happen to high stick or cross check....I can always turn my head to the side and pretend like I was looking at the audience....maybe I thought I saw a sign with my name on it.

As far as references go, I only have one and thats my mom. Now please dont be discouraged because I assure you she is a vary bright woman...not just anybody can operate the drive through AND cashier at McDonalds at the same time!

I also believe I have quite a bit of skating ability to keep up with the players and the action of the game...that is good ability for only having one leg. Yes I lost the other one in the war (WW1). Sometimes when that leg tires I crawl down the ice but dont worry...I have powerful forearms.

I hope you will consider my application. Thank you.

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...and our Ref applicant LIES, too ! (WWI veteran my a** - do you know how old that makes that poor woman who is being forced to work the drive-thru AND the check-out cashier at MickeyD's???? You should be ashamed! Everyone knows that star athletes - or even one-eyed refs are supposed to be donating their megamillions to taking care of their mothers who sacrificed so dearly for them! :Oops: uh-oh, pardon me! I forgot that you haven't made any megamillions yet - that will come after my brilliant movie concept makes it to the big screen... IMAX, too! and the cash starts being delivered to my permanently reserved tailgaiting spot in the RBC parking lot. I'll be tossing it off the back of my new bought-with-ill-gotten-gains cash Dodge Ram hemi-3500 dualie at the big barbecue for all the Caniac Corneracs (?) at our We're Big Movie Stars Now celebration... but wait! I am getting ahead of ourselves!)

I think we may best be able to use you on D, but I'm not in charge of player personnel, just administering the nuts and bolts of this thing. But defense seems to be the continued rumbling from the ranks. That fake leg of yours and you DO happen to have a fake eye in that one socket, dontcha? I think these spare body parts could be put to fantastically devious use!

Picture it - Sicily, 1920... err, RBC - 2007! The infamous HalfaCaniac makes SportsCenter highlights YET AGAIN after another freak-out of a hapless (Hab,Slug,Crapitol, Leaf,Greaser, etc etc etc) as the **$*&* eye skittered across the ice and was mistaken for the puck. A near riot ensued as the traumatized (whatever opposing player) realized he'd belted that *$**^_@>< eyeball again. "I still have the freaking nightmares from the last time I blew that thing apart on the glass! If that sumbeech don't keep his *$**@&<! eyeball in his head, I'm gonna....bleep bleep bleep !!!"

... but the benches emptied when Halfa ripped off his fake leg and started whaling on the whining bugger with it.

:thumbup:

Sports Illustrated's Rick Reilly writes his next week's feature on the state of the NHL being out of control since the ADA (Americans with Disabilites Act) was invoked on behalf of Halfa and nobody in the league can touch him or complain about him OR get him released! He "owns" the league. And with him on the ice.... CAROLINA IS LURCHING TOWARD A BACK-TO-BACK CUP WINNING SEASON !!!!!!! (crowd goes wild.....) >

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I nominate canesmojo for Coach. He seems to be very good at using his creativity to construct something out of virtually nothing. Just look at his "C" note or his Southpark creations, he somehow pulls the best out of what he focuses on. This group of misfits we call the Hurricane's II, will be his biggest challenge to make something out of nothing :mrgreen:

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I nominate canesmojo for Coach. He seems to be very good at using his creativity to construct something out of virtually nothing. Just look at his "C" note or his Southpark creations, he somehow pulls the best out of what he focuses on. This group of misfits we call the Hurricane's II, will be his biggest challenge to make something out of nothing :mrgreen:

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I nominate Arturs Irbe for head coaching position...

It'll be okay... everyone laughed at Garth Snow, too. :mrgreen:

Wasn't Garth Snow made GM? Plus, I already nominated canesmojo for coach 8)

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I nominate Arturs Irbe for head coaching position...

It'll be okay... everyone laughed at Garth Snow, too. :mrgreen:

Wasn't Garth Snow made GM? Plus, I already nominated canesmojo for coach 8)

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Please play Kevyn Adams

You know, he just may be the veteran leadership guy we're looking for. And I think we could give him more than 3 minute per game :roll:

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Please play Kevyn Adams

You know, he just may be the veteran leadership guy we're looking for. And I think we could give him more than 3 minute per game :roll:

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POINT OF ORDER: This is Hurricanes II.... anyone on the First Team (or who plays professional hockey anywhere in the known universe) is not eligible to play on the Second. (nor would they want to even in their most alcolhol besotted dreams!) So Kevyn is just going to have to suck it up and beg the coach for more ice time with the big boys.

Note: the goal of Team 2 is not exactly clear, except that it IS abundantly evident that they will become the most disruptive presence in the NHL. I think their motto will become: HURRICANES TEAM 2: WE GIVE HOCKEY A WHOLE NEW NAME (only X over the N and make it GAME, instead)

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POINT OF ORDER: This is Hurricanes II.... anyone on the First Team (or who plays professional hockey anywhere in the known universe) is not eligible to play on the Second. (nor would they want to even in their most alcolhol besotted dreams!) So Kevyn is just going to have to suck it up and beg the coach for more ice time with the big boys.

Note: the goal of Team 2 is not exactly clear, except that it IS abundantly evident that they will become the most disruptive presence in the NHL. I think their motto will become: HURRICANES TEAM 2: WE GIVE HOCKEY A WHOLE NEW NAME (only X over the N and make it GAME, instead)

Well if he gets anymore minutes taken away, he won't be playing professional hockey anywhere in this known universe. He just may qualify :shock:.

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POINT OF ORDER: This is Hurricanes II.... anyone on the First Team (or who plays professional hockey anywhere in the known universe) is not eligible to play on the Second. (nor would they want to even in their most alcolhol besotted dreams!) So Kevyn is just going to have to suck it up and beg the coach for more ice time with the big boys.

Note: the goal of Team 2 is not exactly clear, except that it IS abundantly evident that they will become the most disruptive presence in the NHL. I think their motto will become: HURRICANES TEAM 2: WE GIVE HOCKEY A WHOLE NEW NAME (only X over the N and make it GAME, instead)

Well if he gets anymore minutes taken away, he won't be playing professional hockey anywhere in this known universe. He just may qualify :shock:.

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Sorry, Kleenedge.... I forgitted our mission was to win the Cup. Since we just adopted that mission today... Hell - there is no excuse for me forgetting that! I stand corrected and sprayed with some of that "ice" from Buffalo mentioned in the hockey typo thread.... ugh. but I deserve it.

I am so ashamed.... :Oops:

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Well I guess we're gonna have to wait and see what Gipper has to say since he's our JR/architect of the Hurricanes II. Since I'll be spending my time up in the press box as a injured/healthy scratch player, Kevyn, with his skates tied loosely together, would fill in nicely for me.

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Well I guess we're gonna have to wait and see what Gipper has to say since he's our JR/architect of the Hurricanes II. Since I'll be spending my time up in the press box as a injured/healthy scratch player, Kevyn, with his skates tied loosely together, would fill in nicely for me.

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