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Caniac Guide

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Truecaniac163...I will take that as a compliment! My personality is wonderful!!!

:roll: :roll:

I was going to add some other stuff to that comment, but there are younger eyes watching that I know...lol.

No comment JWillie!!!!!!

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Truecaniac163...I will take that as a compliment! My personality is wonderful!!!

It was meant to put yha down actually. Only kidding :lol:

Well, like i said...I was going to add to it, but I know of younger eyes...aka..Jwille. Let's just say I am a combo of the two. A combo that my b/f is VERY proud and is willing to brag about to guys (as I sit there amongst other guys in the sports bar and their sig other is somewhere else).

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Truecaniac163...I will take that as a compliment! My personality is wonderful!!!

It was meant to put yha down actually. Only kidding :lol:

Well, like i said...I was going to add to it, but I know of younger eyes...aka..Jwille. Let's just say I am a combo of the two. A combo that my b/f is VERY proud and is willing to brag about to guys (as I sit there amongst other guys in the sports bar and their sig other is somewhere else).

aww poor Jwillie. haha.

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Following last year's Stanley Cup run, many people who previously had never been to a Hurricanes game made their way to the RBC Center. There, they may have encountered Caniacs for the first time. For those who may be thinking about coming to a game, I've prepared a guide for locating and indentifying Caniacs in their natural habitat.

Caniac puck bunnyius – dominant female of the species, although not exclusive to the gender. Knows birthday of every Hurricane player. Often found outside of ice rinks, near players cars. Throws underwear, instead of hats, on ice following hatrick.

Caniac arrivus latius – known for its lack of timeliness. Perpertually pulling into the arena parking lot 5 minutes before game time. Can be seen en mass, following national anthem, as they scurry down to their seats like rats, with armload of concession items.

Caniac premature leaveius – Can be seen most easily leaving seat with one minute left in a tied game. Cares more for getting to car minutes before other Caniacs than they do the final score.

Caniac eructus – Known for random standing behavior during play. While not seriously researched, this genus must possess poor eyesight. Can only see what’s in front of him by standing up, even though nothing is blocking his view.

Caniac bulls***ius – This species is known for it’s incessant chatter during games. While occasionally on topic of hockey, more often conversations center on everything from which is the best tranny for a ’89 Chevy to who’s doing whom at work.

Caniac carnivorous – Known primarily for its diet of hideous smelling sausages at RBC Center. This species has no olfactory senses; unable to determine the foulness that surrounds it while waiting for its prey.

Caniac Chameleon – Difficult to distinguish from normal Caniacs, expect during those games when Hurricanes play “their†team. Often originate from cold climates and switch their jerseys faster then a Babchuk slapshot if “their†team is in town. Probably cheats on their spouse.

Caniac roamus aroundus – Only species to be totally unaware of their surroundings. Usually spotted in pre-pubescent groups roaming the concourse, this species may as well be at a shopping mall as they have no concept of hockey as they never see the ice.

Caniac callus every penaltyus – Natural tendency to posses Turret Syndrome. Makes penalty calls from the stands every time an opposing player touches a Hurricane. Generally known for its inability to distinguish between a good hockey play and a penalty.

Caniac club levelus – Highest member of the Caniac food chain. Most often seen entering and leaving the Club Level. Requires special diet not available to other Caniacs, such as Gourmet Pretzel Fillers and Chicken Fritters. Often spotted leaving premier parking lot, in a H3 or Escalade, before other Caniacs even remember how far they have to walk to their cars.

Caniac brewski double fistius – Easy to spot with an adult beverage carried in each hand. Never seen in the wild with a free hand. Can be often seen following games marking their territory in arena parking lot in full view of other Caniacs.

great post!!

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Great post!!! Sadly I always get stuck beside the Caniac eructus and Caniac bulls***ius during games.. And one game that I went to there were some Caniac Chameleon beside me and they drove me nuts. Everytime we would score they would cheer for us, and say we were the best. but then when the other team scored they would cheer and say that the other team was the best.. So basically they never stopped cheering!

Karen

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Truecaniac163...I will take that as a compliment! My personality is wonderful!!!

It was meant to put yha down actually. Only kidding :lol:

Well, like i said...I was going to add to it, but I know of younger eyes...aka..Jwille. Let's just say I am a combo of the two. A combo that my b/f is VERY proud and is willing to brag about to guys (as I sit there amongst other guys in the sports bar and their sig other is somewhere else).

OK. No comment.

laughing.jpg

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HAHA! Great post! Laughed my *edit* off! Last year I was Caniac Club Levelus. And I just have to say that the food up there is delicious! Especially the super yummy cheesecake that you can order! :) This year I'm just a regular ol' Caniac...with premier parking! I got it mostly because I never carry cash and I hate fumbling around to get money. That and I don't ever want to end up in a mud lot. Those things used to be the frickin' bane of my existance! Decided not to take my chances this year!

It's scary how good those descriptions are! You should have added something about the Caniacs with a cheer for EVERYTHING! You know the ones over near 330. LOL! :wink: :lol:

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If i may add a little to the last one (brewski double fistius) Caniac weak bladderus...While not marking their territory in the lots after games...walking in front of you while play is going on to mark their territory in the appropriate rest room. Alltho i have been know to join that group every now and then. (When nature calls, sometimes ya gotta pick up tha phone and say "hello") ya know? :Oops:

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what about the Caniacs that don't live in town... aka - Me... often seen screaming when her team scores, while she listens and continually pushes refresh on her NHL score sheet b/c she can't watch the game... family often think something wrong has happened b/c screaming so loud during goal... often dangerous when the game is on tv b/c she throws stuff... haha my sister brags to her guy friends about me saying i know WAY more than them... hehe what can i say... hehe

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Now this could get interesting...

How about:

Caniac Soccermommicus futura. Usually identifiable from the pouch in which she carries her young Caniac Infantus. Comes to the arena with so much baggage you feel the urge to tip her. (Diaper bag, infant carrier, blanket and bottles sold separately.) Often seen in the company of Caniac Brewski Double Fistius. Frequently seen departing the section with her young and trailing a foul odor, presumably used as a defense mechanism. Appears to need the protection of many others as this species nearly always sits in the dead center of the row, maximizing the number of neighbors she must climb over during her frequent departures.

Or

Caniac Sherpa minor. Almost always seen in the company of Caniac Soccermommicus futura, this species is normally employed as a beast of burden to carry the attendant baggage required for Caniac Infantus.

Or

Caniac Sherpa major. Arrives at the arena with one or more posters, foam finger, hockey stick with attached porch flag, and often an assortment of other accoutrements that require five full minutes to clear security. The species views this as a statement of loyalty. Those around him view it as an annoyance.

Or

Caniac Kodakus. Easily distinguishable by the large, expensive camera suspended from the neck. Is easily given to "lens envy" when spotting others of the species. Has an utterly insatiable shutter finger, and at one time was thought to have had a camera permanently affixed to the head. While usually not a major annoyance, the species frequently misses important events on the ice due to tunnel vision caused by the limited field of view through a telephoto lens.

Or

Caniac Geekus alpha. Knows every career statistic of every member of the team and most of the current statistics as well. Has committed to memory an impossibly vast assortment of trivia which he must display to those around him at random intervals. While some marvel at his mad knowledge, others secretly wish he'd fall under the Zamboni. This species is apparently well known to management and is never called upon for the trivia contests during stoppages.

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