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iceboy

Caniac Guide

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i have had waaaaaay too many of the caniac erectus in front of me or the caniac bulls****tus behind me. amazing what people will pay to go to a hockey game and have no clue at all that there is one going on.

caniav kickhappyitus(if you have a better name, let me know)-caniac who continually kicks the back of the seats and has no clue its annoying to those in front of them.

we are normally in sections 109-114 but sat in 104 a few games a go and 2 parents brought their 4 rugrats. they kicked the back of the seats the whole beaver*dam* game. I didn't pay 70.00 to go to a game to put up with having the seat backs kicked. are parents so dern clueless that they don't know that's annoying to those around them??

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what about the Caniacs that don't live in town... aka - Me... often seen screaming when her team scores, while she listens and continually pushes refresh on her NHL score sheet b/c she can't watch the game... family often think something wrong has happened b/c screaming so loud during goal... often dangerous when the game is on tv b/c she throws stuff... haha my sister brags to her guy friends about me saying i know WAY more than them... hehe what can i say... hehe

LOL when I was at home over break I was watching a game, and effing Eric Staal missed an empty net goal and me and my mom screamed "NOOOOOO!" at the exact same time. My little brother was walking into the living room at the exact same time and he fell over because he got so scared, it was hilarious :lol:

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Caniac roamus aroundus – Only species to be totally unaware of their surroundings. Usually spotted in pre-pubescent groups roaming the concourse, this species may as well be at a shopping mall as they have no concept of hockey as they never see the ice.

Caniac club levelus – Highest member of the Caniac food chain. Most often seen entering and leaving the Club Level. Requires special diet not available to other Caniacs, such as Gourmet Pretzel Fillers and Chicken Fritters. Often spotted leaving premier parking lot, in a H3 or Escalade, before other Caniacs even remember how far they have to walk to their cars.

I think the club levelus is the adult version of the roamus aroundus. :lol:

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Caniac Kodakus. Easily distinguishable by the large, expensive camera suspended from the neck. Is easily given to "lens envy" when spotting others of the species. Has an utterly insatiable shutter finger, and at one time was thought to have had a camera permanently affixed to the head. While usually not a major annoyance, the species frequently misses important events on the ice due to tunnel vision caused by the limited field of view through a telephoto lens.

Hey! That's me! (except I don't miss much else on the ice because I keep both eyes open when I'm shooting.)

Here's my contribution:

Caniac hippocriticus - One of the loudest and unpredictable of all Caniacs, they can often be heard praising and criticizing a single play or player in the same breath. (example: "Great hit!!!" "Way to get a stupid penalty for that hit!")

EDIT: forgot to mention...great job to the OP on this one. Really funny stuff!

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I don't see any reference to this, so let me offer my favorite types of fans to you:

Cellphone-conjoined Philadelphius: You know them right away. Are often seen with earphone and gets aggravated when spoken to, or worse, downright aggressive when asked to hang up the phone and watch the game.

Puckbunnyus Philadelphius: You think the Caniac puckbunnyus are bad... These ones squeal and call out through the course of the game like a cat in heat. Just don't turn around and tell them (insert player's name here) is married/engaged.

Philadelphius Drunkus, subtype Dumbassus: A posturing male seeking dominance, who bellows wonderfully obscene things at passers-by, until told by companion Philadelphius Hockey Addictus to shut up, because the other team is winning.

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alright one more to add:

Caniac ritualus---easily recognized by their smell as they are known to wear the same clothing to every game, especially if the team is on a winning streak & will only wash said clothing once the team loses a home game.

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alright one more to add:

Caniac ritualus---easily recognized by their smell as they are known to wear the same clothing to every game, especially if the team is on a winning streak & will only wash said clothing once the team loses a home game.

Hmmmm. Sounds like me, BUT I wash my clothes.

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Caniac Kodakus. Easily distinguishable by the large, expensive camera suspended from the neck. Is easily given to "lens envy" when spotting others of the species. Has an utterly insatiable shutter finger, and at one time was thought to have had a camera permanently affixed to the head. While usually not a major annoyance, the species frequently misses important events on the ice due to tunnel vision caused by the limited field of view through a telephoto lens.

Hey! That's me! (except I don't miss much else on the ice because I keep both eyes open when I'm shooting.)

I do too (a technique learned from observing the most advanced of the species, Bruce Bennett), but sometimes I still miss stuff if I'm following something that's caught my attention. Happily, it happens with far less frequency than it used to, but I still missed the seven-second Gleason bout the other night. :evil:

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I don't see any reference to this, so let me offer my favorite types of fans to you:

Cellphone-conjoined Philadelphius: You know them right away. Are often seen with earphone and gets aggravated when spoken to, or worse, downright aggressive when asked to hang up the phone and watch the game.

Puckbunnyus Philadelphius: You think the Caniac puckbunnyus are bad... These ones squeal and call out through the course of the game like a cat in heat. Just don't turn around and tell them (insert player's name here) is married/engaged.

Philadelphius Drunkus, subtype Dumbassus: A posturing male seeking dominance, who bellows wonderfully obscene things at passers-by, until told by companion Philadelphius Hockey Addictus to shut up, because the other team is winning.

Must be a not-too-distant cousin to the Buffalophius Drunkus 8)

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I don't see any reference to this, so let me offer my favorite types of fans to you:

Cellphone-conjoined Philadelphius: You know them right away. Are often seen with earphone and gets aggravated when spoken to, or worse, downright aggressive when asked to hang up the phone and watch the game.

Puckbunnyus Philadelphius: You think the Caniac puckbunnyus are bad... These ones squeal and call out through the course of the game like a cat in heat. Just don't turn around and tell them (insert player's name here) is married/engaged.

Philadelphius Drunkus, subtype Dumbassus: A posturing male seeking dominance, who bellows wonderfully obscene things at passers-by, until told by companion Philadelphius Hockey Addictus to shut up, because the other team is winning.

Must be a not-too-distant cousin to the Buffalophius Drunkus 8)

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Okay, now stop coming up w/ good ones... it'll be too long to string them all together, LMAO!!!

Well, actually, no it wouldn't... it is sigs I'm thinkin' here. :D

Just wanted your permission to use it so you didn't get ticked if you didn't get credit, which would be understandable. 8)

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I'm liking all these -olaphius Drunkuses,etc. Any latina lingua instructor has long ago fainted dead away and we're left with some killer ID's. !!!!

Are there any Habilius Whateveriuses???? or are they renowned as icons of savoir faire and respectibility? Board Hablings, what say ye?

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I'm liking all these -olaphius Drunkuses,etc. Any latina lingua instructor has long ago fainted dead away and we're left with some killer ID's. !!!!

Are there any Habilius Whateveriuses???? or are they renowned as icons of savoir faire and respectibility? Board Hablings, what say ye?

Irish, no offense but I need a thesaurus and dictionary to sort out your posts sometimes :shock:....maybe its me? LOL

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I'm liking all these -olaphius Drunkuses,etc. Any latina lingua instructor has long ago fainted dead away and we're left with some killer ID's. !!!!

Are there any Habilius Whateveriuses???? or are they renowned as icons of savoir faire and respectibility? Board Hablings, what say ye?

Irish, no offense but I need a thesaurus and dictionary to sort out your posts sometimes :shock:....maybe its me? LOL

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Translation for upcoming run against the Habs... are their fans a bunch of obnoxious whatever you wanna call 'ems, or are they french canadian examples of all that is stylish, uppercrust and well mannered?

Uh, simple enough?

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Translation for upcoming run against the Habs... are their fans a bunch of obnoxious whatever you wanna call 'ems, or are they french canadian examples of all that is stylish, uppercrust and well mannered?

Uh, simple enough?

Got it :Oops:

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Translation for upcoming run against the Habs... are their fans a bunch of obnoxious whatever you wanna call 'ems, or are they french canadian examples of all that is stylish, uppercrust and well mannered?

Uh, simple enough?

Got it :Oops:

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Puckbunnyus Philadelphius: You think the Caniac puckbunnyus are bad... These ones squeal and call out through the course of the game like a cat in heat. Just don't turn around and tell them (insert player's name here) is married/engaged

I love doing that! :mrgreen:

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Translation for upcoming run against the Habs... are their fans a bunch of obnoxious whatever you wanna call 'ems, or are they french canadian examples of all that is stylish, uppercrust and well mannered?

Uh, simple enough?

As would be expected, up here in Buffalo, the largest amount of visiting fans we get are Leafs and Habs fans. While I have my share of Leafer stories, I have not yet had one bad run in with a fan of the Canadiens.

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