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Caniac Guide

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Caniac ShootiusPuckius - These are the idiots that the instant a Canes player has the puck on the power play they start yelling "shoot it...shoot it". I guess passing is overrated to this species. They are closely related to SendumBackus, a fan who is constantly yelling at a player when he screws up " Send him back to Albany" or wherever he may have come from.

Caniac arrivusDuringPlayus This species has no clue that the game is being played, and makes sure they find their seats during those times. They are crafty and can always slip past the StopsignusHoldus at the entrance to each section. They are most likely to arrive during a critical Power Play opportunity.

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what about the Caniacs that don't live in town... aka - Me... often seen screaming when her team scores, while she listens and continually pushes refresh on her NHL score sheet b/c she can't watch the game... family often think something wrong has happened b/c screaming so loud during goal... often dangerous when the game is on tv b/c she throws stuff... haha my sister brags to her guy friends about me saying i know WAY more than them... hehe what can i say... hehe

I believe that would be called Caniac Inabsentia would it not?

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Caniac Putmeincoachicus This rare variant is recognizeable because in addition to a hockey stick it also bears a helmet and sometimes even gloves. While there have been reports of females of this subspecies, all confirmed sightings have been of males.

Caniac Fashonius Though some of this common variety are known to wear the fetching pepto-bismol hued imitation jersey, the most readily identifiable characteristic is the 3-or-more-inch stilletto heels. They can almost always be identified by their call, which takes the form of complaints about the steepness of the stairs.

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Caniac Fashonius Though some of this common variety are known to wear the fetching pepto-bismol hued imitation jersey, the most readily identifiable characteristic is the 3-or-more-inch stilletto heels. They can almost always be identified by their call, which takes the form of complaints about the steepness of the stairs.

you have NO idea how many of those I've seen!!! my sister is one that doesn't want to wear a jersey or anything b/c 'it doesn't fit me right' and says that she wants to wear green to the C of Red... HOCKEY'S NOT A FASHION STATEMENT!!! haha

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This is just priceless. I've seen every one of these at every game so far.

Here's another:

Caniac Freeshirticus - A younger species of Caniac whose entire reason for attending games is to attempt to catch a t-shirt that is launched into the crowd. Often seen pushing other members out of the way in this effort.

Not to be confused with...

Caniac Jumbotronia - Another young species aspires to appear on the Jumbotron as often as possible. As a result, they are regularly seen dancing every time music is playing, even when located in a seat that no cameras can see.

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you have NO idea how many of those I've seen!!! my sister is one that doesn't want to wear a jersey or anything b/c 'it doesn't fit me right' and says that she wants to wear green to the C of Red... HOCKEY'S NOT A FASHION STATEMENT!!! haha

Well, there ARE tens of thousands of people watching her, right? :lol:

As a guy, I'm ASSUMING that's what's going through their head. :P

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Someone needs to compile this list like the YKYACW thread. They just keep getting better and better!

Caniac Openshirtius- this variety is very closely related to and sometimes confused with the Caniac Fashonius. This female is seen mostly in the lower bowl going up and down the steep stairs as much as possible, looking to draw the most attention she can.

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Someone needs to compile this list like the YKYACW thread. They just keep getting better and better!

Caniac Openshirtius- this variety is very closely related to and sometimes confused with the Caniac Fashonius. This female is seen mostly in the lower bowl going up and down the steep stairs as much as possible, looking to draw the most attention she can.

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Someone needs to compile this list like the YKYACW thread. They just keep getting better and better!

Caniac Openshirtius- this variety is very closely related to and sometimes confused with the Caniac Fashonius. This female is seen mostly in the lower bowl going up and down the steep stairs as much as possible, looking to draw the most attention she can.

Way ahead of ya TS.

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This is fun! I keep thinking of more!

Caniac Headphonius - An advanced technological, yet anti-social, species who constantly wears headphones in order to monitor the radio broadcasts of the games.

Caniac Pincushionus - A proud species who not only owns, but wears every pin with the team logo ever created.

Caniac Wrongjersius - Always wears an authentic hockey jersey...just not one that is for either of the teams currently playing.

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This is fun! I keep thinking of more!

Caniac Headphonius - An advanced technological, yet anti-social, species who constantly wears headphones in order to monitor the radio broadcasts of the games.

Caniac Pincushionus - A proud species who not only owns, but wears every pin with the team logo ever created.

Caniac Wrongjersius - Always wears an authentic hockey jersey...just not one that is for either of the teams currently playing.

OMG! I can't tell you how many times that I've set the metal detector off because of my jersey! I had so many pins on it that I was running out of room! I finally took most of them off save for my Stanley Cup pin and my Commodore pin. And now there are lots of tiny holes in my jersey. :( Next jersey I get won't have any pins in it ever! LOL!

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Caniac Wrongjersius - Always wears an authentic hockey jersey...just not one that is for either of the teams currently playing.

I spot several of those every game.

Ya know, we really should formalize this somehow as a field guide for those visiting the arena. Matt, you and I could probably get photos of most of the species and the ones we can't Ellie could render illustrations of I'm sure ('cause she's just a rockstar that way). Makes a great gift! Hardcover edition with color plates... how much ya think?

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Caniac Wrongjersius - Always wears an authentic hockey jersey...just not one that is for either of the teams currently playing.

I spot several of those every game.

I think I've said it before, but at every game there is a guy in my section who wears a Wild jersey. At this last game I saw him in a Canes jersey and thought I'd seen a miracle!!! I'd rather people come dressed in plain clothes then show up in jersey's of teams we aren't even playing. I'm all for supporting my team, but I wouldn't show up to a game where the Canes weren't playing in my Canes jersey. Just me, though.

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Caniac Wrongjersius - Always wears an authentic hockey jersey...just not one that is for either of the teams currently playing.

I spot several of those every game.

I think I've said it before, but at every game there is a guy in my section who wears a Wild jersey. At this last game I saw him in a Canes jersey and thought I'd seen a miracle!!! I'd rather people come dressed in plain clothes then show up in jersey's of teams we aren't even playing. I'm all for supporting my team, but I wouldn't show up to a game where the Canes weren't playing in my Canes jersey. Just me, though.

what if the jersey is that of a former Cane?

I wear my IRBE blue jackets jersey all the time.

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Caniac Wrongjersius - Always wears an authentic hockey jersey...just not one that is for either of the teams currently playing.

I spot several of those every game.

I think I've said it before, but at every game there is a guy in my section who wears a Wild jersey. At this last game I saw him in a Canes jersey and thought I'd seen a miracle!!! I'd rather people come dressed in plain clothes then show up in jersey's of teams we aren't even playing. I'm all for supporting my team, but I wouldn't show up to a game where the Canes weren't playing in my Canes jersey. Just me, though.

what if the jersey is that of a former Cane?

I wear my IRBE blue jackets jersey all the time.

Eh, that becomes a bit muddied. I figure if you have a Canes jersey you should wear that one. Although, I want an Ovechkin jersey from when he played in Europe with his name in Cyrillic, so I can't really say anything. But I figure if you have a Canes jersey wear that one. Then any jersey of a current of ex Cane. That's my own personal preference though.

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Caniac Wrongjersius - Always wears an authentic hockey jersey...just not one that is for either of the teams currently playing.

I spot several of those every game.

I think I've said it before, but at every game there is a guy in my section who wears a Wild jersey. At this last game I saw him in a Canes jersey and thought I'd seen a miracle!!! I'd rather people come dressed in plain clothes then show up in jersey's of teams we aren't even playing. I'm all for supporting my team, but I wouldn't show up to a game where the Canes weren't playing in my Canes jersey. Just me, though.

what if the jersey is that of a former Cane?

I wear my IRBE blue jackets jersey all the time.

Eh, that becomes a bit muddied. I figure if you have a Canes jersey you should wear that one. Although, I want an Ovechkin jersey from when he played in Europe with his name in Cyrillic, so I can't really say anything. But I figure if you have a Canes jersey wear that one. Then any jersey of a current of ex Cane. That's my own personal preference though.

Well it's good to know there's a protocol.

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Caniac Bandwagonus: Includes subspecies of the aforementioned Caniac ShootiusPuckius (because they are not familiar with the subtleties of hockey such as passing, setting up or cycling) and the subspecies Caniac ObnoxiousAssus (who feels the need to scream his thoughts about lack of shooting as though the players can hear him from the 3rd level). Closely related to the species Caniac Prematureleavius because they will flood the exits if their team is down by more than one with 10 minutes left in the 3rd period.

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Caniac Bandwagonus: Includes subspecies of the aforementioned Caniac ShootiusPuckius (because they are not familiar with the subtleties of hockey such as passing, setting up or cycling) and the subspecies Caniac ObnoxiousAssus (who feels the need to scream his thoughts about lack of shooting as though the players can hear him from the 3rd level). Closely related to the species Caniac Prematureleavius because they will flood the exits if their team is down by more than one with 10 minutes left in the 3rd period.

HAAHAHA, Like the other night agains Boston, when people (to my mucho surprise) left with 12 minutes left in the game?? THEN Roddy scored the game tying goal! Made me laugh

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Well it's good to know there's a protocol.

LOL! It's my own personal peeve. It's something I wouldn't do, but it's just me. I would never say something to someone wearing a different jersey or give them dirty looks. Unless it was during the Stanley Cup and then I'd just ask them what they'd been smoking when they'd made that decision! LOL! :lol:

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Caniac Bandwagonus: Includes subspecies of the aforementioned Caniac ShootiusPuckius (because they are not familiar with the subtleties of hockey such as passing, setting up or cycling) and the subspecies Caniac ObnoxiousAssus (who feels the need to scream his thoughts about lack of shooting as though the players can hear him from the 3rd level). Closely related to the species Caniac Prematureleavius because they will flood the exits if their team is down by more than one with 10 minutes left in the 3rd period.

Very clever! :lol:

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Caniac ObnoxiousAssus (who feels the need to scream his thoughts about lack of shooting as though the players can hear him from the 3rd level).

Why do I feel like I know the exact guy that inspired this one?

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Why do I feel like I know the exact guy that inspired this one?

You do. He sits a few rows below you in Section 325. :lol:

OMG!!! That is the funniest thing I think I've ever read!!! :lol::D :-) :lol::P

(and also just a little creepy how many people remember where I sit).

Totally did not expect that response.

Priceless!

EDIT: but lets all promise not to turn this into a thread about this "species" and keep going with the great stuff we have so far. This is one of the best threads we've ever had!

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